Showing posts with label Black Hole. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Black Hole. Show all posts

Take flight with color

Folks at HP have asked me to write a post on what black and white things I would like to see in colour! Yipieee!! Well, not just me exactly. All the bloggers of Indiblogger. As we don't take ourselves seriously and just joke around here I decided to write assuming that I am not going to win anything (which is what happens all the time anyway) and try to wage an all out war on black and white.

So here is my list of things I would like to see in color.

1)Black hole : Black hole has made the most number of people look foolish after kaun banega crorepathi. Imagine yourself in the coffee break trying to fit in with those people who can talk about Aishwarya rai and Einstein at the same sip of coffee and one of them who never liked you goes, "Hey! Have you ever seen a black hole?" and you try to play it safe as you really don't know what is black hole and say, "Well, kinda but..." and the whole group laughs at you. Well, I have looked up black hole on Internet and is just amazed that half of the Nobel prizes for physics in the last decade have gone to people who are trying to fathom more about black hole. Well, I tell you what, if ever that black hole turns color and emits some light, Boy! quiet a few Nobel prizes have to be returned back. And few smiles will be wiped off the faces of those stupid guys who think they are smarter than me just because they bought "Brief History Of time" and kept it in the attic. So my first nomination is Black Hole.

2)Black and white Unix terminals : This happened like fifteen years ago but I still remember it vividly. I guess the scar runs pretty deep. I finished my college, secured a job in a top tier IT company. So I go to the office with stars in my eyes and what do they do? They take me to this room and bring out the sorting hat a la Harry Potter style! I put it on and the hat breaks into a lament, "He is a geek! He
is a workhorse. He can master the logic but he is not creative." A life of black and white will suit him just fine." So a very bored person takes me to this terminal where I see unappealing white letters in black background and he says, "This is a Unix terminal and I am going to be your mentor." I felt a bit better when the sombre person taught me Unix which is nothing but a series of diatribe against windows like "windows can't do true multitasking (This is windows 3.1 days) and Unix can." But when I pointed out this fact and gloated at the college friends who were serving the evil Bill Gates they would go, "Dude, whatever. Can you see colors in your screen?" I would get depressed again because , let's face it, for all the forking and spawning Unix does the black and white screen really sucks. So that's my second nomination.

(SPOILER ALERT: I am going to get philosophical and serious now.)
3)Skin Color : Forget the black hole and the Unix terminals. If there is one place where I would have liked to see more candidates than black and white it is in skin color. I hear many of you shouting about wheatish complexion, fair wheat complexion. You are parents of marriageable girls, I presume? Let me not spoil your party. But the wheatish complexion that you crow about, it is just black (or white)
gone awry. Anyway, the human race is a bloody struggle for supremacy between black and white. Imagine what would have happened if there had been blue coloured people, green coloured people and red coloured people. People would have seen too many different colored skins to believe in the supremacy of any one colored skin and the world would have been a better place. And the bonus would be that the whole beauty industry which thrives on selling fairness cream in five rupees tube would have gone down the drain benefiting one half of the population, namely men who get to see more money. (I know, they will just spend it on beer and fries. But it
is not total waste of money like spending on fairness cream, right?)

So, In summary I must go with, "Can we have some different color skins here? Please, God!"

After thought 1: If God is indeed going to put some different colors on the skin, I would like him to take a look at the whitening hair issue as well. If the black hair doesn't turn white but becomes green, blue or red then ageing will be lot cooler. At least till the eventuality strikes.)

After thought 2: I had a long list of black and white things that could be livened up with color like, the orthodontist in white coat, black board and white chalk, white office walls, strict nuns in all white uniform. But the above three won hands down. For the records, strict nuns in white uniforms lost by a narrow margin.

Submitted for contest sponsored by the colorful HP laserjet .
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