Not Again ...

When I hear someone say they are, or want, to marry a Thai girl, they are, or want, to move to Thailand, an alarm goes off in my head and part of me wants to scream, “Not Again...Not Another One!” Then the less cynical part of me says shut up and let them find out on their own. Who knows, they may just get lucky.

Statistically the odds are against you even in your own backyard, so does it really matter if someone gets a bad case of the grass being greener and strikes out for a foreign land? After all don’t we learn more from our mistakes than our successes? Isn’t it better to play and lose, than to have never played at all? What would life be, if everything was a sure bet and we always knew the outcome in advance?

So instead of being the naysayer today, I say go for it. When things go belly up, which statistically speaking they most likely will, just tell yourself “I’m one step closer to enlightenment.” In the very least it will be one more mistake you will know, not to make, in the future.

Yeah, I know I’m being a smart-ass, know-it-all but how do you think I got this way? Sure I have a great life and a great wife, but again how do you think I got here? I’ve got twenty long grueling years of mistakes and adventures in Thailand which preceded these last ten years of joyful bliss. You know what all that taught me? It taught me enough to know that I just got lucky. That the right girl found me at the right time. Another time and place and I would not have been ready to grasp this opportunity. I wouldn’t have had the skills necessary to make this work. I had to go through all that other stuff to become who I am today. And it is not enough to just experience life. One has to learn from it.

Someone asked “Why ask Why?” to which I can only say that my mind is never satisfied with “What? Where? When?”. I get bored hearing what happened and want to know why it happened. I’m only superficially interested in what you feel. I am far more interested in why you feel that way. What are the underlying reasons or motivations? For example I seldom base my actions on the “Rules” but rather on what I perceive to be, the reasons for the rules being set forth to begin with. I’m sure for many, if not most, it must sound very tedious. But that is what it is like to be me. It is not about the nice house or the amazing young wife. It is not about where I live (which country, village or house). It is about how I live, the choices I make and about understanding why I am, who I am.

So I can look at that guy in the mirror and say, “I know who you are.” Honestly, how well acquainted are you with the person in your mirror?