So,What do you do?

I am a "so, what do you do?" magnet. Everybody asks me the same question - in person, by phone, on wall. There was even an email from asking me what I do. Just imagine, there are so many topics to talk about from Anna Hazare to Zoozoo. But people home in on just one question.

So,what do you do?

It is the most difficult question I have faced. And I have had my share of difficult questions like "Am I looking fat?"* or "Papa! Why is that aunty puppy shame on T.V?" Of course, it is not THE MOST DIFFICULT question. That has to be "Soooo.., what do you do?" In general the longer the 'So', the more difficult the question is to answer. Unless of course GOD hears my prayer and blights the interrogator with amnesia whenever he says 'sooo'. Then it would be downright comic.

"Sooooo, hmm..... yeah! Sooooooo, hmm... I just forgot what I wanted to ask. There! I remember it now. Sooooo, Hey! I forgot it again.

This is weird!"
And I go, "Thank You, GOD! THANK YOU! Let him say soooo one more time. Please. Pleeease... Oh Thank You GOD! You rock."
But it never happens.

Sometimes the opening gambit is slightly different. It goes like
"Soo(I start praying here.)ooooo, I bought the new iphone yesterday."
"(somewhat relieved) That's good!"
"What do you have?"
"Well.. micromax."
"Hmm... Soo( I start praying again)ooo, What do you do?"

I think it's God's way of paying me back. (During my younger days, I used to be a chic magnet in my dreams.) Nowadays I just have nightmares of middle aged iphone totting executives frozen in the middle of their question, "Soooooo...." with their mouth in perfect "O" shape.

I had a couple of answers that used to work. The first one was "I am taking a break." It used to hold up for sometime. But it ran out of shelf life in a month. Then I hopped on to "I am trying to discover myself" bandwagon. But It didn't convince anybody. Not even me. Let's face it. Neither am I the hundred and eighteenth element in the periodic table nor am I Mendeleev. So the probability of I discovering me would be the intersection of the probability of I discovering anything (which is zero) and probability of me being discovered (which is a bigger zero). So that would be zero intersecting bigger Zero which is... Biggest Zero??

What? Is that not how probability is calculated? So now you know! I am neither mendeleev, nor Newton. What! Newton didn't discover probability. What did he discover? Algebra? Oh, Calculus! well anyway, now you know that there is fat lot of chance of me discovering anything leave alone I discovering me.

But I need to find another answer to the question, "So, what do you do?" Imagine this! we are living in a wonderful world where William is marrying Kate, Americans are killing Osama and people find just one topic to talk to me.I have thought about it long and hard and I have come to this inevitable conclusion. I have decided to run a company. I have named it ""**. In a way, you are my first customers. And my product? This is my product!

I know what is on your mind. If I can visualize our conversation it would go like...

"So you are going to run a blog?"
"Yeah... But I would rather say I am running It's cooler that way."
"Is this your big idea?"
"How are you going to make money?"
"Do you even..?"

Don't ask your question, Okay? Pleeeaase. It is easy to ask questions but not so easy to answer them.

So let's go back to the original game. You have to start.
"So, what do you do?"
"I am running"
"Wow! Great."
"Yeah! It is."
"So, did you see the william-kate thing. How do you think it will pan out?"

That's better.

* It is always "Am I looking fat?" Never "Am I fat?"
** It is actually But let us just pretend it is