Two + Three funny things about Infosys

Infosys was the leading IT services provider of India before they decided to leverage their core competencies of Global delivery model and move up the value chain in the space warp of friedmanoian flat world and leapfrog by strategy innovation, operational excellence, thought leadership.. guess what, it is not worth it even though there is a teeny tiny chance that I may seek employment in Infosys again.

Disclaimer 1: The author reserves the right to claim on a future date that he did not write this article in free will but was held in duress and was forced at gun point by an employee of a rival company.

Disclaimer 2: This is not indended for consumption of any one other than the intended audience. The intended audience (who shall be henceforth referred to as intended audience) include but is not limited to denizens and non-denizens of internet and who who are not employed in the HR department of Infosys.

Enough of preamble.

1)Infy+ and O+ : Infy+ was an internal change program to transform Infosys from yada yada to yada yada yada. But for a more accurate definition we need to borrow words from less known and lesser respected seventh grade Tamil teacher of my school. In her words

Infy+ is O+* (* hopeless)

It took eighty densely packed powerpoint slides to outline the concept and workings of Infy+. In comparison the advanced unix course conducted by Infosys training department was a relatively sparesely populated thirty slider presentation. And half the trainees flunked in this advanced course. The key takeaway of the Infy+ (for the majority of the employees) was in slide seventy eight and was titled 'New Dress Code'. To explain the new dress code under Infy+ succinctly I need to borrow idea from another fellow Tamilian: Thiruvalluvar of seven word couplets fame

Infosys Monday tie. Infy+
Monday,Tuesday tie.

2)Cleaning ladies and the Zen Gurus : There was a time when Infosys had thirty thousand software engineers and forty thousand cleaning ladies. (No they were not there to clean the BEEP the programmers coded. There was maintenance contract for that.) The cleaning ladies were there to scrub and scrub every square millimeter of every square inch of the floor till it shone like floor. In addition they were also supposed to

a)wipe the underside of the keyboard/mouse/mousepad while programmers are typing their BEEP
b)scrub gently the power button of the computer when it is on
c)wash the toilet while the programmers were ...
Point C was of paramount importance and every toilet of Infosys was cleaned every hour, throughout the hour.

But the noblest of the cleaning task was reserved for the Zen gurus handpicked by NRN himself. They washed the dirt off every individual pebble in a , well what else, huge pebble bed by the old canteen so that the pebbles are in pristine white till the next rain comes. (which, if they are lucky will be when they are half way through. But there were good days and then there were bad days. On bad days, the rain would start when they had just finished their task and got up and before going inside the building paused for a moment to take a look at their achievement.)

I don't know why but I always thought they were not really cleaning the pebbles but teaching some zen philosophy of life (under NRN's order, of course) to the software folks who constantly complained about their meaningless life in between their bites at onion dosa in the adjacent canteen. But for all the intelligent programs I have written I have not been able to fathom what lesson NRN wanted to impart.

That brings us to the third thing which I will write in tomorrow's post (hence the title). Please take a look at the comic and feel free to forward this post (or like or tweet) to your Infosys friends (but not to the ones in HR) and come back tomorrow.

From Funny Side Of Life

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