Happy Independence Day

Flag hoisting and Sweet distribution.

Have you ever noticed this? They do not hoist flag and distribute sweets.
They always do flag hoisting and sweet distribution.
Now our secretary, royal pain in the ass Mr. Arumugam will do flag hoisting and sweet distribution.

Flag hoisting and sweet distribution! I think sweet distribution is the bait with which they attract you for flag hoisting. It worked like till you were in fifth standard. After that they switched tactics.

Flag hoisting and sweet distribution. Attendance compulsory.

They had you at their mercy till the school final year by that one line. You have to be present for flag hoisting whether it rains or shines, whether you like it or not. Compulsory attendance on Independence day. Why am I the only one to see the irony here?

Of course, I do not have problem with flag hoisting or sweet distribution. It is what happens in between the two that troubles me. Mr. Arumugam, who nobody cared to listen till the previous day, will talk till cows become ham burgers about the struggle for Indian Independence like he witnessed it personally. His source of information is the same as everyone else's - high school history book.

Flag hoisting has always troubled me. You see, the flag is already hoisted. All Mr. Arumugam does is unfurling the flag. So they should call it flag unfurling, right? Besides, who hoisted the flag? The ambulance that I saw speeding with siren on ten minutes earlier - what's up with that? The guy who hoisted the flag - is he safe?

The other thing that troubles me to no end is - Independence day parade. The one you see on T.V where school kids will be dancing haphazardly near army tanks. What are we telling the world? That we are a mighty power with all these huge tanks or a stupid nation which we let kids play near loaded guns.

Then comes the PM's speech. I don't know why the papers quote it on the next day. Didn't they see the huge TRP drop the previous day once the PM got up to speak? The only time I was stirred by a PM's speech was when Vajpayee told to Pakistan something like 'blah blah blah - with you, without you or in spite of you.' That phrase! It really caught my fancy. I used that phrase at every possible occasion for next one year. Once even in my bedroom!

My favorite part of Independence day is the movie they telecast on T.V - Gandhi. Personally, it is the only biopic worth watching. Too bad, that it lost the best biopic award of the century to Jack - the stripper. I think the jury was made up of just homosexual men.

But the ads that come during the movie really irritates me. 'Independence means everybody having their own thermometer. Buy yours now. Independence day sale. 20% off!' Why don't they just come right out and say, 'Independence means we having tons of money. That's why we jack up the price of things that no one would buy by 200% and give a discount of 20% so that everybody will buy. That way we will be independent of - YOU.' But then that would be Truth day. Not Independence day.

My advance wishes. Happy Independence day.