MahaBharat : Ved Vyas lands a book deal with Elephant India

Mein samay bol raha hun..

sadhiyon pahale jab Antariksh tha, aakaash bhi thaa, par hindi nahin thaa, people used to go, "what has a man to do to get an aaloo paratha here?" and the dhabha owner would go, "You have got to wait. I haven't got ten hands. Do I?"

Finally, the punjabi owner came out of the kitchen with plates and said, "Tough luck,I Ran out of aloo.There is just one aaloo paratha." There was a huge commotion as people rushed forward to get the aloo paratha.


Ved Vyas, who was nothing by profession and a writer by aspiration saw people pushing and shoving for paratha and had a brainwave. "What if.. What if..", he just couldn't wait till he finished his thought to call Naaradh , summa cum laude cum real estate cum insurance cum literary agent.

"I have an idea for an epic! People, brothers by blood, fight for a.. a.. maha paratha." He told Naaradh with excitement.
"Wow! Show me the manuscript."
"I haven't got one."
"Then get one."
"I can't! I can't write."
"Why?"

That's it. That was the three letter question that came to Naaradh's mind which neither Vyas nor the historians could answer. We don't know the answer either. So we are going to declare the question out of syllabus and move forward.

On Naaradh's request, Lord Ganesha agreed to be the scribe and publisher for Ved Vyas.
"But I have a stipulation. My pen should not pause while I write." Ganesha said.
"Then, I have got a stipulation too.  You should understand the meaning of shlokas that you write." Vyas counter conditioned.
"Then I have one too. I need a finder's fee of ten percent." Naaradha slid his condition in.
"Then you need to get me a television deal too." Ved vyas counter conditioned again.
"I will try. But the sagar is busy with Valmiki guy's book. I will try Chopra." Naaradh sounded doubtful.
"All right then! Let's start." Ganesha asked with his pen and parchment ready.

So Ved Vyas dictated and Ganesha wrote the epic that we call MahaBharath. Ved Vyas used make up difficult words and Ganesha would really have to think hard for the meaning before penning down the words. Meanwhile, Ved Vyas would have thought of more shlokas to say.

For instance, Ved Vyas would go, "Arjun shot an arrow and it went swoing swoing swoing swoing swoing swoing swoing swoing swoing swoing"
Ganesha had hundreds of ways to write the gibberish and he had to think hard to choose the correct spelling. This just about gave Ved Vyas time to compose more shlokas. Alert readers would have noticed that Vyas's idea of buying time was nothing original. Sagar was already deploying that technique in televising Valmiki guy's book.

Thus Ved Vyas dictated MahaBharath and Lord Ganesha set it to letters.




From Mahabharat