Of men, women and sandwiches

Heard the news that another celebrity couple is splitting. Marriage as an institution is failing. Call me old fashioned, but I have always felt that men and women need each other.

Men need women.Without women, men need to enter the kitchen themselves. And kitchen is a strange place. Not at all suitable for men. The last man to go where no man has ever been - the kitchen, is still missing. The legend is that the sink swallowed him. Of course, some men might say, 'What the hell! We will buy some ready to eat stuff and survive. We don't need women.' The thing with ready to eat stuff is you are ready to eat it, but it is not ready to be eaten - yet. You need to unwrap it without squissssshing it, keep it at proper orientation in the microwave, heat it to proper temperature, take it out without scalding your hands. So you can see that there are lot of steps between being ready and eating it.


You don't believe me? Take the case of bread. You might think eating bread is a walk in the park - take two slices, apply jam, eat it. It is. Except that the walk winds through seedy neighborhoods. The shape of a bread slice is, what scientists call, asymmetrical. Asymmetry is a complex concept. Asymmetry means not symmetrical. If you draw a line through the center of an asymmetrical thing, the left side will not match the right side.

What that means is, when you apply jam on the bread slice, it has to be applied on the non matching sides. If you don't, then when you keep the slices against each other, they won't fit perfectly. You will have portions of the side with jam exposed and you will end up smearing jam in your hand or shirt or shoes. Men don't have it in them to find the matching sides.

The greatest scientist Edison ,a bachelor, went to collect his Nobel prize in red pants - to match his jam stains on white shirt.

Women need men just as men need women. Women need men to call plumbers, carpenters, electricians and talk to them and get the job done without getting fooled by them. They need men to take a firm stand and tell the electrician, 'See! This switch faces me. It goes in the opposite wall. We need a different switch for the wall behind me. Get the one for the back wall, even if it is twice as costly.'

Women also need men to whisper sweet little nothings in their ear like, 'Honey, you need to press the brake, not the accelerator and you better do it NOWWWWWW.' or 'Darling! Press the clutch, put the gear on first and slowly accelerate. But do it fast before the guy with the crowbar reaches my window.'

In summary, women need men as much as men need women. Now if we can find some oil rig men to drill that into the heads of warring couples then the lawyers will not be needed.




From Funny Side Of Life