funny KBC questions

I am not a great fan of KBC5. I know it is sweeping the nation with Sushil Kumar being first five crore rupees winner. But I am underwhelmed everytime I see it on T.V. Below is transcript of something I would like to see on KBC5. Maybe that will explain my apathy towards real KBC5.

Amitabh: Let's move to fastest finger first question. contestants! Here comes the question on your screen.
From Funny Side Of Life

(The contestants are busy punching in the answers. There is a raising suspence music in the background.)

Amitabh: All contestants have answered the question in less than a second. But let's see who has answered it correctly. The correct order is of course,

A. Ra One
B. Ra One
C. Ra One
D. Ra One
And the winner is Vinay Kumar! Vinay Kumar pumps his fist in air and hugs Amitabh.

Vinay: I am not able to believe that I am talking with you in person. You don't come even in my dreams!
Amitabh: Who does come in your dreams?
Vinay: Abhishek sir! I bash him up every time in my dreams. And I have even danced with Aishwarya Rai. (Amitabh's facial muscles tighten) Only couple of times Sir! Once when it was raining and...
Amitabh: (interjects to change the subject) Very imaginative dreams. Where do you work?
Vinay: I am a night watchman in an ATM, Sir. I just earn 2000 rupees. We are a family of nine and..
(Vinay Kumar's dilapidated house is shown on T.V. A melancholic music plays in the background.)

Amitabh: In front of me, is forty year old Vinay Kumar from Bihar. I really hope (Amitabh does air quotes gesture) they don't see this episode in your office. But if they do, I really really hope (air quotes gesture again) they don't fire you. But if it happens what will you do?
Vinay: Exam ke thaiyaari karoonga, Sir. Even now I am preparing for exams only, Sir. The watchman job is just on the side. 
Amitabh: Really! What exam are you preparing for?
Vinay: It depends on the time of the year, Sir. April ho to JEE. December ho to CAT. In between I appear for UPSC as well.School ke baad, I tried just JEE for three years. Laga Nahin. So I decided to diversify.
Amitabh: I really (air quotes gesture again) hope you win 5 crores today. What will you do, if you win?
Vinay: I will prepare for IAS exam, Sir.
Amitabh: I wish you all the best. But before we start, I would like to thank media for exercising restraint on publishing news related to Aishwarya Rai's delivery. They have not even published the due date and the consulting hospital's name. By the way they are 18th Nov and Shivaji Rao hospital, worli. Media's behaviour is exemplary. I am very very happy (Vinay does the air quotes gesture now. Amitabh glares at him.) 

Amitabh: The first question is, What is your father's name? And the choices are

A. Shailesh Kumar Verma
B. Spider Man
C. Super Man
D. Bat man
(Vinay Kumar goes into deep thought. The suspense music is playing in the background.)

'sab ke naam suna hua lag raha hai, Sir', Vinay tells in a worried tone to Amitabh. 
'Vinay Kumar Ji, First question generally easy hota hai. Yeh trick question nahin hai' Amitabh tries to help.
'I know. But I have always had a doubt. You know...' Vinay Kumar scratches his chin.
'koi jaldi nahin hai. aaram se sochiye.' Amitabh offers help.
'I would like to use my life line, Dial a friend. Sir. I would like to call my mother.' Vinay says.

Amitabh dials Vinay Kumar's mother and after introduction asks Vinay Kumar to talk. The clock starts ticking.

Vinay: Maa! THe question is, 'What is my father's name?
Mother: Hai Ram! Why are you insulting me on National T.V, son!
Vinay: bak bak math karo. Time nikal raha hai.  The options are
A. Shailesh Verma
B. Spider Man
C. Super Man
D. Bat man
(The clock shows five seconds)

Mother: How can you doubt me like this!
(The clock shows three seconds)
Vinay: Maa! Time nahin hai. I have always had this doubt.
Mother: Doubt kis baat ki? Dimaag nahin hai kya? Option of Saxena saheb is not even there, right?
(The phone line gets cut)

Amitabh: Your mother did not answer. But I think she gave at least a hint.
Vinay: Haan Sir! I think the answer has to be Sailesh Kumar Verma.
Amitabh: Sure! Lock kiya jaai. If it is wrong, you will have nothing.
Vinay: It's OK, Sir! Mere paas Maa hai.
Amitabh: Whatever. Computer Ji! Option A lock kiya jaai.
Amitabh: The correct answer is... Option A!

(Victory Music plays in the background)
Amitabh: (faces audience) It's time for a break. Please go to the next channel and spend (looks at the watch)... two minute eighteen seconds. We will be back after a short break.

Sigh! If KBC5 episodes were like this, then...