Save the world. Let me do my bit..

I am not feeling good today. Maybe I got up on the wrong side of the bed.

And then I see this news item - World leaders meet in Geneva to discuss Global warming.
They are flying from all over the world. To discuss about Global warming. At the foot of Alps!The newspaper carries a photo of the smiling leaders with Alps in the background. I don't know why, but the photo reminds me of another photo from college days. I and my classmates stand wet, half naked and happy on a beach.That photo was taken during our industrial visit - to Goa.

The photos are as different as chalk and cheese. One is B&W and the other is colour. One has world leaders in it and the other has irresponsible college kids. Why then is mind dwelling on the other photo?

'Maybe, I got on the wrong side of the bed today. I just can't seem to think straight.' I tell myself. I have had this sort of can't-think-straight days before. In fact, through out the industrial visit to Goa when we couldn't find a single industry in the beach to visit my mind was occupied by a completely irrelevant question - Where do an all women engineering college go for industrial visit? Spa village?

The world leaders look very happy in the photo. Maybe they have come up with a plan to save the world from Global warming. I hope it does not involve skiing. Because I don't know skiing. And I am not going to learn it to save this shitty world.

I have a simpler solution to save the world. You see, there are two kinds of people in the world.

1) Those who need a bucket of water to clean a glass.
2) Those who need a glass of water to clean a bucket.

The former are called Newtonians - They let the glass clean itself under the gravity of water.
The later are called Gandhians - They trust in self purification to clean the glass.
To save the world we need to teach something new to one of these groups. We need to teach them something so new and radical they may not even comprehend! We need to bring these two people together and teach Gandhians.. to kill Newtonians.

I know! It is terrible. It means Gandhians have to clean the glasses as well. But there is no alternative. Newtonians will never learn relativity. They will not understand that this is a relative world - that if they keep cleaning glasses we will run out of water to clean buckets.

Once I am done with Newtonians and Gandhains, I will classify the surviving people into
1)Those who have SUV, motor boat, private jets
2)Those who cycle and walk to work

Let me not go further. you know the rest anyway...

Ok! Enough of this killing and maiming. I really don't know what has happened to me today. Like I said, probably I got up on the wrong side of the bed. But let me give you a practical advise to save the world. Buy electric cars. I myself would have bought one. But I don't like their looks. They don't convey I care. They convey I can't afford - petrol.

'What are you doing with an year old paper?' My wife asks.
'An year old! What has happened to me? Which side of bed did I get up on?' I ask.
'You slept through the night in the sofa. You had fallen asleep watching late night movie.'
'You had left the T.V on all night. Sheer waste of electricity.'

It is a good thing I am not into saving the world. I won't be there to write this blog.

From Funny Side Of Life