Showing posts with label Independence Day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Independence Day. Show all posts

Are you feeling a little down this Independence day?

Are you asking what is so great about Independence day. It is an understandable feeling, especially as Independence day falls on a saturday.

So watch our video and see why you should feel excited about our Independence day.

This Independence day, total freedom.

That Independence day, Avi wanted freedom. Total freedom. Freedom from seeing Gandhi movie for the the fiftieth time on T.V , freedom from malls that sold marked up jeans on sale, freedom from everything. But I wasn't buying it. He had been saying the same thing for half his life.
"You need to earn it Avi" I said. "Just talking won't do any good."
That's when he took out the gun, goddamm biggest gun I ever saw. BAM! He put a through and through hole in my laptop.
"Shit! My entire work is in there." I said. But Avi wasn't listening. He ran to the living room and I ran behind him.

"Honey! Shall we go to Lal Bagh? There is a flower show today, for Independence day." My wife said when she saw me.
"Duck!" I yelled just before Avi pulled the trigger.
BAM! The wooden show case splintered an inch above my wife's head. She was too stunned to speak.
"It's Avi! He has gone crazy." I said.
"Who's Avi?" She asked. I wished I could tell her. But I heard Avi starting the car outside. I ran out of the house and jumped into the car.

"Who's next?" I asked as the car turned the corner of the street.
"Your relationship manager." Avi said without looking at me. I was kinda beginning to like Avi. That creep had made me put all the money when the market was at the peak. "You can't time the market, Sir." He said and pocketed my cheque, the very day his company put a million dollar to buy a building above the stock
exchange so they can shave off a micro second in the trades.
"Take the next left. We don't want to get caught in the mall traffic." I said. But Avi kept going straight.

There was a big line of cars waiting to get into the mall. Avi pulled by the side of the first car and got out.
BAM! He shot through the window of the first car. There was a big commotion. I ducked in my car and counted six more gun shots.
"You have blocked the traffic. How can people get into the mall now?" I asked when Avi got back into the car. Avi didn't say anything. He just started the car and turned towards the banker's house.

But the banker had fled from his house. It looked like he had packed in a hurry. The house was in a disarray and the T.V was on. The images of mall, bloody cars filled the T.V screen.
"Looks like he saw us in the T.V" I pointed at the T.V screen to Avi. My headshot was at the bottom left corner. The image cut to a T.V studio and an anchor came on. He said that the nation wanted to know who I was and why I had shot innocent people in the mall.
"Let's go to the studio." Avi said as he went out of the house. I was beginning to love Avi.

On the way to studio, Avi shot some more people. He didn't even bother to stop the car. He just shot through the rolled down window at a rapist, an activist and some random guy who wore a T. Shirt which had some clever quote.
"Man!" I moaned as the T.Shirt guy fell on his face on the road. "I didn't get to read the quote fully."

I thought they wouldn't let us in at the T.V station when they saw our bloody clothes and Avi's gun. But nobody cared. Avi said he shot the people at the mall and wanted to get on the show. The producer asked us to go right in to the studio where the anchor was telling the audience what the nation wanted to know.
"Stop right there." Somebody shouted as Avi was about to open the studio door. Avi turned back and froze. The guy came up close, put some make up on Avi, and then said no matter what we did inside the studio, we had to always look at the camera.

Inside the studio, Avi cocked the pistol, pointed it at the anchor and said, "Get up."
"Look at the camera." The anchor hissed as he stood up.
"Shoot him, Avi." I shouted, looking at the camera. "We want total freedom."
But Avi hesitated for a moment.
"What, Are you out of bullets?" I asked.
"No, I have got just one." Avi said.

Then he shot me.

From Funny Side Of Life

Happy Independence Day

This Independence day, I urge you all to remember the sacrifices made by our selfless ancestors. If not for them you would not have had this great and truly wonderful LOOOOONG WEEEEKEND!! So wherever you are on Independence day, be it the beaches of Goa or the hills of Coorg, just take a solemn moment to remember our ancestors and then go back to the party. But if you really feel indebted to them and want to know more about the difficulties they faced in the early days of the new nation, then read on.

The new nation of India faced a plethora of problems ranging from mass migration, communal riots and war in Kashmir. Our forefathers decided to take head on the problems by applying themselves to come up with a stunning design for our national flag. Our national flag is a tricolour of saffron, white and green with the colors symbolizing saffron, white and green respectively. There is blue chakra in the middle of the flag, primarily to make it difficult for the kindergarten children to draw the flag.

After designing the national flag, our forefathers moved to the more complicated task of choosing a national animal. The qualifying criteria for national animal was very strict - the animal had to be found only in India or else India should be home to at least ninety percentage of the animal population. The only candidate who passed those stringent criteria and was all set to become our national animal was Mambalam Culicidae. (also known as Madras mosquito) But at the last moment, B.R. Ambedkar raised a fine point of law - the Mambalam mosquito was an insect, not an animal! Thus Bengal tiger became our national animal. Appreciating Ambedkar's legal acumen, Nehru gave him a minor task that had been pending for quiet some time - drafting India's constitution.

Choosing our National anthem was becoming a big problem with every state demanding that the national anthem be in their own language. It looked like the new nation was going to have twenty versions of national anthem. However common sense prevailed and Jana Gana Mana was chosen as our national anthem. The National anthem had just two versions - long version and the popular version. The long version roughly lasts twenty eight seconds. The popular version lasts twenty eight seconds too, but has much fewer words as shown below.

Jana Gana Mana adhi naayaka jaya he
<Just lip movement without any sound for next twenty seconds>
Jaya he!Jya he!Jaya he!
Jaya Jaya Jaya Jaya he!

Of course, none of these tasks were as difficult as the one that Jawaharlal Nehru, India's first Prime Minister faced. He had to deliver a speech on the eve of Independence day in the parliament. But Nehru was up to the task. With the clock approaching midnight on 14th August, 1947, Nehru gave one of the greatest speeches of all time which started with the following words:

Long years ago we made a tryst with destiny, and now the time comes when I shall reveal the meaning of the words tryst and destiny.

Or something like that.