Showing posts with label google. Show all posts
Showing posts with label google. Show all posts

Google vs Facebook

I love google. We all do. It tells me the correct spelling of floccinaucinihilipilification. (Finally, I managed to use that word in a sentence!) When I tried to pull the same stunt in MS Word, the autocorrect choked on its red squiggly lines for a while and then came back with 'Fox nose in hill fiction'.  Fox nose in hill fiction! Way to go Billy boy!

And google is the best to turn to if you ever forget the lyrics of a song.

I: zindagi shitwah gulzaar
Google: Did you mean zindagi shikwah gulzaar?
Google not only gave me the links for the lyrics and the mp3 but also some true insights. Did you know that gulzaar uses the word zindagi a lot in his songs? Awfully lot! He should get a life.
And then then other day, I started hearing this disturbing sound (tung tungg tunggg) in my car. So I called the mechanic.

I: I hear this sound in my car. It is like tung tungg tunggg.
Mechanic: We will do it Sir. You will pay by cash or card Sir?
I: You will do what?
Mechanic: We will see sir. But we will do it sir. you will bring the vehicle tomorrow no Sir?

I started worrying what he was going to do and who he was going to do to - car, card or me? So I did what any man who has an iota of manliness in him will do. I googled "why am I hearing tung tungg tunggg in my car?" The first link was "if you hear a dull thumping noise in your car" from the blog of a British scuba diver. It obviously was a wrong result as tung tungg tunggg can never be described as a thumping noise. But you can never trust those foreigners who have English as their first language. They have a weird way of speaking and writing English. So I clicked on the link. Let me cut short the story here by just saying we found in the boot of the car the stainless steel vessel that we thought we had missed in the picnic a month back.

I am saying all these nice things about Google because I feel very bad that Google is getting his butt kicked by Facebook. I find it strange that Facebook's ascendance should spell doom for Google. After all, one helps you to find the lyrics of the gulzaar song and the other helps you to see your friend's wife's (sorry kid's) photo. So they kinda address different needs and can co exist together. But we know it never works that way. The way it works is the more time you spend on your friend's wall the lesser time you have for searching and lesser opportunities for Google to make money. Well, it is not exactly that way. The truth is bit more complicated. But I do not want to go into it as I become depressed. Why don't you just find out for yourself how facebook is going to beat google. Just Google it.
Yeah! Google knows it. He just can't do anything about it. Ironical isn't it?

From Funny Side Of Life

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What the world thinks of Indians

Won't you love to know what people think of you? Well, I know a way to find out. It works well if you are aishwarya rai or some such celebrity.  Go to google and type in the first letters of your name and Google auto suggest will tell you what the world is thinking about you.

But, if you are not a celebrity? Well try the larger group of which you are a member. For instance, I am assuming I will come across as an Indian. So I decided to find out what the world thinks of Indians. It sure is not pretty.

Here is a list of top "why do Indians" question that seem to bother the world. Why do Indians stare?
Ouch! We thought nobody notices us staring.

Look at the list of questions starting with "Why are..". Let me tell you why we are cheap. Because we eat grass more often than not :-)

But, you know what is even more damning? What people think about "Indians are..."

Before BJP starts making an issue of what world thinks about us, let me assure that it is just some misunderstanding. The world doesn't even know some basic things about us like our toilet ritual. And what they think of Indian girls is ,well, let's say very flattering.

Enough about Indians. Let me see what the world wants to know about Aishwarya Rai. See, I have this great urge to know one thing about Aishwarya Rai.

Yes!!! It's right there. The one concerning Aishwarya Rai and Abhishek Bachchan. Yep, that's what I am interested in :-)

Have noticed some interesting things in Google suggest? Drop a comment. And do forward this post to other Indians. Looks like we have a lot to work on.