Showing posts with label old age. Show all posts
Showing posts with label old age. Show all posts

On ageing

Nobody knows a man better than his
1)Wife
2)Mother
3)Barber (Not hairstylist)

BTW, that list is in reverse order. I know that wives will not be thrilled about losing to his mother. But spare a thought for his mother. She lost to his barber!


It was my haircut day, a Saturday couple of months back. I was looking forward to the barber working his magic on my hair and transform me from nobody-with-lot-of-hair to nobody-with-little-hair . I have this special connection with my barber. We meet once a month and instantly connect.

"Come in! Come in! Had your breakfast?"
"Yeah!"
(I sit at the vacant chair.)
"short?"
"Yes."

For the next half an hour we connect like those two childhood friends who don't need to talk when they meet. We exactly know what each other wants.

I - less hair.
He - more business.

Before leaving I smile to acknowledge his skill. He smiles back conveying, "It was his pleasure." That is an example of great relationship. A relationship where there are no disasters of expectations that go wrong, misunderstandings that explode, insensitivity that hurts.

But something changed that day. He popped the dreaded four-word question.
"Do you want dye?"
"What?"
"Your hair. Do you want to dye your hair?"
"But.. But why?"

He pointed at that reflecting thing called mirror. He tilted my head to show my sideburns where the hair had caught the fresh

snow of the old age winter. If your life is not the basis of any docu-drama movies like Schindler's list then seeing your grey hair for the first time in mirror can easily be your most harrowing personal experience. But my barber, for some reason didn't understand that. He kept selling the idea of dying my hair. I politely declined, paid him and left without smiling that day.

You might be wondering why I had not seen the grey hair in mirror before? Allow me to digress to explain how men relate to mirror. We believe that mirror is something that supports and fills the wall. And it is something that one stands in front of
when they brush or comb , because there is nothing else better to stand in front of. But we really don't see what is on the mirror. Never! We have T.V to see what is on.

I went home that day and looked at my past photos to see when exactly the old age had crept on me. And I saw the obvious answer - old age was always creeping on me. If my hair color could be used to represent the demographics of a city - I have
decayed from NduguNdugu of Central Africa to Harlem of fifties to Madras of Pre-Independence era. And whites were winning every day. I will probably have a photo to represent Arctic Tundra within a decade.

But I am not going to go down without a fight. I am never going back to any barber who suggests I dye my hair.

From Funny Side Of Life

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TO NOT DO LIST: eight things that I will not do when I grow old

Pancake and Paneer butter masala is not a good combination, right?
Tie and Slippers? Not good again.
What about veshti* and Nike? Ditto. Right?
But why is it then I see so many old people in that attire in the park?
It looks like old people stop caring about how they dress as they age. In fact I have been observing old people carefully for the past one week and they care a lot less about lot of things. But, it doesn't seem to be making them any happier. Maybe, that's because they have very different kinds of worries from you and me like how to get up from the bed or how to lift the leg and take that next step in the park.

Anyway, I know that I will grow old too and I will stop caring about what I wear and what I talk. But I do not want some crazy blogger to make fun of me when I am old. So I decided that I will make a To Not Do list for myself. A list of things that I will not do when I grow old made before I decay and stop caring about others opinions.

1)I will not ogle at twenty something girls and then call them betis.
2)I will not fart. Well, if it is biologically inevitable at old age then I will not make a lot of noise in public.
3)I will not develop this more knowledgeable than thou attitude just because I have spent more days than people around me.
4)I will not, I repeat, I will not set foot on the inter galactic ship to M263 or any other planet just because my son who has gone on work permit there invites me to come over for sight seeing.
5)I will not baby sit my grandchildren. I know I am guilty of using my parent's service. But somebody has to stop this. So let me be the beneficiary and not my son.
6)I will not make a fool of myself by trying to retrofit whatever they may or may not find three decades hence. You might have heard an old man saying "It is all there in Vedas, beta. Theory of relativity, Quantum physics. They even have predicted when Big Bang occurred." I will not be that old man.
7)I will never start a conversation with "In our time and all..."
8)I will never say to the younger generation "you people are having stress from constantly looking at computer (or whatever shit that people work on three decades hence)."
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* vetti, dhoti, sarong - you get what it is, right?