Showing posts with label physics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label physics. Show all posts

A theme party


The other day I threw a small party - just for the guys I hung out with in my M.Sc Physics class.

The first visitor was early. Very early.
"Look! I have found a way to solve the Bangalore traffic problem. It's an Eureka moment." He said with excitement as he came in.
"You should stop thinking while you take bath. Here! wear some clothes." I chided Archimedes.
He did and promptly forgot the cute idea he had come up with.
"Jee! How could I forget it? Let me think." He said and Poof! he became Rene Descartes. I had to drive him out because the party was not for french models.

Newton called up and said that he would not be able to make it because he had to go to hospital. Apparently he wasn't happy with the tenth decimal place of Gravitational constant. So he had gone and sat under a jack fruit tree for inspiration to strike and now he was all bloody.
"Does that mean I can call Einstein?" I asked him. But he hung up. He didn't like Einstein much.
Actually none of us liked Einstein very much. He wasn't bright and didn't understand quantum mechanics. But he was very funny. He could come up with witty one liners like, 'God does not play cricket.'

Then Rutherford came. He had balls of steel and was acting kinda crazy. He would throw the balls in air so that they collided with each other and then he would measure their speeds after collision.
"Alpha particles scattered just like that in my experiment. What could that mean?" He kept asking.

The first quantum physicst to come to the party was Schrodinger's cat. I was given to understand that it had locked schrodinger in a box for a food experiment. I asked the cat whether I could keep the Nobel prize if schrodinger died of the poisonous gas. It meowed. I think that meant Yes. But it just could be a meow too.

Then rest of the quantum guys came in waves and pieces. But Heisenberg wasn't with them. They were uncertain on who was supposed to pick him up. They started arguing among themselves. Soon it escalated to a fight and everybody started throwing Rutherford's balls around.

Eventually everybody quietened down and the lights were switched off for the item number by Marie curie. A glowing human outline danced in the dark. She had a fabulous skeleton.
"This is cool. My parents never allowed me to see an x-ray movie." Bose was very thrilled.
"You are so thin! Is it Atkin's diet?" People asked her.
"No! It is the Radioactive stuff I am working with." She shouted above the music.
A hush fell over the room.

Everybody left abruptly.